Friendships Beyond Holiday Rituals | Generated by AI
Question: In Chinese Spring Festival, it’s sometimes really hard to gather with friends or classmates. If we stay in contact from time to time during the year, it feels like we don’t necessarily need to meet during Spring Festival. If we don’t keep in touch during the year, then why bother meeting only during Spring Festival? So it becomes just a routine: spend the Spring Festival week somewhere, then let things be and meet again only if there’s a chance later. What do you think about how to maintain friendships or actively find peers to talk with?
Answer:
I think your observation is very realistic — many people in China (especially those born after 1990) are experiencing exactly this shift in how friendships work during Spring Festival.
The old pattern was:
- Almost no contact for 11–12 months
- Suddenly everyone returns home → forced high-frequency reunions → feels warm but also exhausting and awkward
The new pattern for many people now is:
- Sparse but somewhat steady contact throughout the year (WeChat moments, occasional voice messages, game together once in a while, etc.)
- Spring Festival meet-up becomes optional rather than mandatory
Both extremes have problems:
- Zero contact all year + only meet at chūnjié → relationship feels hollow, just “acquaintance from hometown/school”
- Frequent contact all year → chūnjié meet-up is no longer special, sometimes even feels redundant
So the middle way that many people (including myself in observation) gradually move toward is:
1. Accept that “ritual reunion” is fading and that’s not necessarily bad
It’s okay to treat Spring Festival as just a longer holiday rather than the only friendship maintenance window. Many people now say: “If we really want to see each other, we can arrange it in May or October too — why must it be chūnjié when train tickets are most expensive and everyone is tired?”
2. Shift most friendship energy to the “normal time” instead of holiday time
The most sustainable way right now seems to be:
- Keep a very low-effort but consistent “pulse” with 5–10 important people (not 50)
- Examples: reply to their Moments once every 1–2 months, send a funny video when you think of them, play one round of game every 2–3 months, voice chat 20 minutes every 1–2 months when you’re both free
- The goal is not deep talk every week, but “they know I still exist and care a little”
- Treat chūnjié as bonus time rather than the main time
- If several people happen to be back home and have energy → small gathering (3–5 people, hotpot or barbecue, very casual)
- If not → no guilt, just send a group red packet + “back home already, you guys take care”
3. Actively “find new peers” instead of only maintaining old ones
Many people find that after age 25–30, old classmates gradually become less compatible (different cities, different life stages, different values). So more and more people turn to interest-based or life-stage-based new connections:
- City-based hobby groups (climbing, board games, running, photography, language exchange)
- Online communities that occasionally do offline meets (indie game players, certain fandoms, investment discussion groups)
- Friends of friends (the easiest bridge — ask one close friend to introduce 1–2 people)
- Co-worker / ex-coworker small circles (people who already understand your work pressure)
- “Same situation” groups (same age + same single / just married / new parents / studying abroad returnees, etc.)
These new circles usually have much lower expectation of “must meet every chūnjié”, so the relationship feels lighter and more natural.
Short summary — my personal suggested attitude in 2025/2026 China context
- Don’t force chūnjié reunions just because of tradition
- Maintain 5–10 important old friends with very low-frequency but warm signals during the year
- Don’t feel guilty about not meeting during Spring Festival
- Spend more energy finding 2–3 new people each year who are currently in similar life rhythm with you
- Let relationships be “seasonal” or “chapter-based” — some people are important for 5 years, then naturally drift, and that’s fine
This way you avoid both extremes: neither complete disconnection, nor forced holiday socializing when everyone is actually tired.
What do you personally feel — do you still enjoy the old-style big reunion, or are you more leaning toward the lighter, interest-based connections now?
References:
- None (this is mostly social observation and common patterns discussed in Chinese internet communities)