Chinese Collectivism in Modern Youth | Generated by AI
Here are concrete, everyday behaviors that show even “modern/individualistic” young people in Shanghai/Beijing still have very strong collectivist reflexes about others’ opinions (compared to Europeans or Americans of the same age).
Common situations you’ll notice
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Never directly saying “no” or criticizing in public
Even cool 95/00后 (Gen Z) will almost never say “I don’t want to” or “That’s a bad idea” in a group setting. They use vague phrases like 还行吧, 看情况吧, 可以试试看 to save everyone’s face. -
Taking 50 photos before posting one on Xiaohongshu
They look super individualistic online (travel alone, fancy cafés, designer clothes), but every photo is heavily filtered and angled to show the “perfect” life. Posting an unfiltered tired face or messy room is still extremely rare. -
Group dinners & AA vs. “the host must pay” drama
Young people say they prefer AA制 (splitting the bill), but in reality someone always fights to pay the whole thing because letting others pay makes you look stingy/lose face. -
Luxury bags & iPhone Pro Max as default accessories
Many 25-year-olds earning ¥10–15k/month will still buy a ¥15k+ bag or latest iPhone. When asked why, the honest answer is usually “I feel embarrassed to take out an old phone in front of coworkers/clients.” -
Still lying to parents about boyfriends/girlfriends
Even very liberal Shanghainese girls who live with their boyfriend will tell parents “I’m living with two female colleagues” because “my mom would collapse if she knew.” -
Work WeChat groups = 24/7 performance
They will reply 收到 / 已读 / 好的 OK even at 1 a.m. because ignoring a message from the boss or colleague feels like losing face for the whole team. -
Blind obedience to insignificant rules in public
Example: security guard in a mall says “you can’t drink that coffee here.” A New Yorker would argue or ignore. A Beijing 28-year-old fashion girl will immediately throw away a ¥35 coffee with zero protest. -
Marriage & baby pressure even from “cool” friends
At age 28–30, even the most independent creative-industry people start panicking if not married. Friends will half-jokingly, half-seriously say “You’re not getting any younger” or introduce blind dates. -
Extreme sensitivity to being laughed at
Fall on the street in London → people might laugh but you laugh too and move on.
Fall on the street in Shanghai → many young people will instantly get red-faced, almost cry, and hurry away because “everyone saw me lose face.” -
Bragging disguised as humility
Classic line when someone compliments their English/designer watch/new job:
没有啦，一般般而已 (actually they spent years preparing for it and are very proud).
In short: on the surface they dress alternative, travel alone, delay marriage, criticize the government in private, etc. But the moment the situation involves any group (family, colleagues, friends, strangers, or even online audience), the old “what will people think” reflex kicks in immediately—much stronger than in most Western cities of similar wealth and education level.