Urban Professionals Delaying Marriage in China | Generated by AI
It sounds like you have a solid, ongoing friendship with this guy—weekly hangouts over meals for three years is no small thing, especially with a shared work history. Working in foreign companies in Guangzhou or Shenzhen (tech and finance hubs) puts him in a fast-paced, urban environment where career demands are intense. Based on what you’ve described, he does come across as single, but without more details (like a public social media profile or direct convo), that’s just an educated guess from your observations. If you’re close enough for regular meetups, maybe float a casual question next time to clarify—something low-key like “Any fun weekend plans with someone special?” could open the door without awkwardness.
As for why someone in his mid-30s (assuming “around 89” means born in 1989) might still be single in China, especially in his demographic, it’s super common these days. Urban professionals like him—educated, in high-pressure jobs—often delay marriage or skip it altogether. Here’s a breakdown of the main reasons, drawn from recent trends:
Economic Pressures
- Sky-high costs: Marriage in China isn’t cheap—think dowries, weddings, and especially housing. In cities like Guangzhou and Shenzhen, apartment prices are insane (often 10x annual salary), and many guys feel they need a home to even propose. Youth unemployment hovers around 15-20% in urban areas, and the economy’s been sluggish post-COVID, making folks prioritize stability over settling down.
- Career focus: Foreign companies mean long hours, travel, and relocation risks. At 36, he’s likely climbing the ladder, and that leaves little bandwidth for dating apps or family intros.
Shifting Social Norms
- Women leading the change: Educated women in their 30s are increasingly opting out of marriage to protect their independence and careers. This creates a mismatch—more single men than women in the dating pool, thanks to the old one-child policy skewing the gender ratio (about 105 men per 100 women overall, worse in urban areas).
- Freedom over tradition: Younger gens (including him) value travel, hobbies, and self-growth more than the old “marry by 30” script. Stigma around “leftover men” (shengnan) exists but is fading, especially in cosmopolitan spots like Shenzhen.
Stats to Show It’s Normal
This isn’t some outlier case—China’s marriage rate hit a record low of 7.68 million couples in 2023 (down from 13 million a decade ago), the fewest since the 1980s. For context:
- Over 50% of people aged 25-29 are unmarried.
- Around 30% of 30-year-olds in cities are single, rising to 20-40% for those 32-41.
- In urban hubs, the “marrying later” trend has spread even to rural areas, with folks citing education, better lifestyles, and less pressure to rush.
No kids ties right into this: Late marriage means later (or no) childbearing, plus the costs of raising a child in a city (education, childcare) can top 1 million RMB over 18 years. Fertility rates are at 1.0-1.1 kids per woman, way below replacement, and many couples just decide it’s not worth the hit to their quality of life. Childlessness is rising fast among urban pros—about 10-15% of women in their 30s report it, and it’s even higher for singles.
Bottom line: Yeah, this is totally normal in 2025 China, especially for a guy in his position. It’s a mix of personal choice, societal shifts, and tough economics. If he’s content (which it sounds like he might be, given the steady friendship), that’s what matters. If you’re worried or curious for deeper reasons, leaning into those weekly chats could reveal more—friendships like yours are gold for that.
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