Quit Smoking With Identity Self Talk | Generated by AI
Li Xiaolai (also known as Li Xiao Lai), the author behind https://lixiaolai.com, quit smoking after a roughly 40-year habit that started in his junior high school days. He achieved this in a seemingly effortless, “painless” way without relying on traditional willpower, nicotine replacements, patches, or forcing himself to endure cravings.
His core method is based on self-talk (or self-statements/affirmations) to reprogram his subconscious identity and bypass the usual struggle.
The Key Technique: Identity-First Self-Talk
Instead of saying “I want to quit smoking” or “I must resist smoking” (which activates tiring conscious willpower), he repeatedly told himself statements that redefine his identity as a non-smoker. The main phrase he used was:
- “I never smoke.”
(In Chinese: “我从来都不抽烟。” or variations like “我是一个从来不抽烟的人。”)
He often expanded it to something like:
“I am a person who never smokes, because smoking smells terrible.”
(or another personal reason that evokes disgust/emotion, like the stink, feeling exploited, or unhappiness).
How He Practiced It
- Repeat confidently and deliberately: Say it slowly, clearly, and out loud (or in your mind) — at least 3 times or for 5+ seconds each time.
- Timing:
- First thing in the morning upon waking.
- Whenever a craving hit (instead of fighting it, just state the affirmation).
- Throughout the day, even without cravings, to reinforce it.
- Extra reinforcement: He recorded his own voice saying these phrases (sometimes in English or a less familiar language for novelty) and played the recordings on loop, especially before sleep, to “wash” his subconscious with his familiar voice.
- No direct confrontation: The point isn’t to battle urges head-on. By declaring the new identity repeatedly, the brain starts aligning behavior to match it automatically (drawing from ideas in books like Thinking, Fast and Slow about System 1 vs. System 2 thinking).
Why He Believes It Worked So Well
- Traditional quitting fights System 1 (fast, automatic subconscious urges) with System 2 (slow, effortful conscious control), which tires out quickly.
- Self-talk hijacks the process: Repetition + familiar self-voice + emotional reason makes the subconscious accept “I’m not a smoker” as truth, reducing or eliminating urges naturally.
- He reported feeling effects almost immediately — the habit faded without major discomfort, eventually reaching a point where smoking felt irrelevant (“I could smoke or not, it doesn’t matter”).
This approach came from his self-experiments with brain science and habit formation. He discussed it in detail in a 2025 long-form podcast interview with Dehuahua (on platforms like Get App / Xiaoyuzhou FM), where he called it “no-willpower-needed” habit change. He also applied similar self-talk to build positive habits (e.g., fitness for others).
Interestingly, there’s even a simple open-source GitHub repo inspired by or linked to his method: https://github.com/xiaolai/quit-smoking-instantly, which echoes the exact “I never smoke” repetition technique.
Many people who’ve tried it report success not just for smoking but for other habits like procrastination or overeating — the key is consistent repetition until you genuinely believe the new identity. If you’re interested in trying it, start with the phrase tailored to your own reasons and say it daily! Let me know if you’d like more details or related resources.