Reality Mirrors Your True Internal Desires | Generated by AI
Question: What does this Kapil Gupta quote mean?
“The only reason that you don’t have what you want is because you didn’t really want it. The only reason that you have the thing that you do is because you couldn’t live without it. And, the only reason that you are where you are is because somewhere within, it is OK to be there.”
Answer:
This quote is a provocative, direct challenge to common excuses and self-deceptions people use about their life outcomes. Kapil Gupta (known for his uncompromising, non-prescriptive style in Siddha Performance teachings) is essentially saying that your external reality is an extremely accurate mirror of your true internal priorities, hungers, and level of non-negotiable commitment — not your stated wishes, goals, plans, or努力.
Breaking it down line by line:
-
“The only reason that you don’t have what you want is because you didn’t really want it.”
Most people claim they “want” many things (wealth, elite skill, freedom, a certain body, a relationship, etc.), but their behavior, time allocation, pain tolerance, and sacrifices reveal they did not want it badly enough to override every obstacle.
If something is truly wanted at the deepest level — the kind of want that feels like oxygen — humans become almost unstoppable. The absence of the thing is therefore proof of absence of that level of sincere desire, not proof of bad luck, unfair circumstances, lack of knowledge, or insufficient effort.
In short: you get what you desperately crave, not what you casually like or intellectually value. -
“The only reason that you have the thing that you do is because you couldn’t live without it.”
Flip side: whatever currently exists in your life (the relationship you stay in, the mediocre job you haven’t left, the habits you keep, the skills you actually developed) is there because, deep down, you were unwilling to live without it or to pay the real price of letting it go.
You tolerated enormous discomfort, fear, uncertainty, or boredom to keep it — which proves it was (and perhaps still is) more important to you than the alternative. The things you truly could not live without are the ones that survive. -
“And, the only reason that you are where you are is because somewhere within, it is OK to be there.”
This is perhaps the most piercing line.
Your current station in life (financially, relationally, health-wise, status-wise, skill-wise) persists because a part of you accepts it as livable / tolerable / safe enough.
When a situation becomes truly unacceptable to your core (not just your mind complaining, but your entire being screaming “no more”), you will move heaven and earth to change it. Until then, some subconscious permission slip remains active, allowing the status quo to continue.
Overall philosophy behind the quote
Gupta strips away comforting narratives (“I’m trying my best”, “life is unfair”, “I need more time/money/support”) and forces radical self-honesty: results are not accidents; they are precise reflections of what the organism actually values most when all the posturing is removed. Desire here is not intellectual or emotional — it’s existential, almost biological.
The message is deliberately uncomfortable because it removes external blame and places total responsibility on the sincerity (or lack thereof) of one’s inner drive.
References:
- Siddha Performance official site (Kapil Gupta’s platform)
- Various discourses and quote collections from kapilguptamd.com (where similar uncompromising statements appear)