Why I Withdrew from My Housing Fund to Pay Back an Investor

Why I Withdrew from My Housing Fund to Pay Back an Investor | Original

Home 2020.11

This post was originally written in Chinese and published on WeChat platform.

A while ago, the fact that I withdrew money from my housing fund to pay back an investor caused a little stir. I heard some friends in my circles were talking about it. Some friends also shared the story with their girlfriends, and their girlfriends started following my video channel, etc. Let me explain the motives behind all this, and share some new reflections on cooperation and how I do things.

As everyone knows, under the pretense of my years of entrepreneurial effort, I wrote articles and begged readers for money, and managed to raise 20,000 yuan. Of course, many people blocked or deleted me, including quite a few acquaintances. I was sad for many days, so much so that I gradually didn’t dare to proactively open the Moments of friends I thought of, afraid I’d been blocked again. If you open a WeChat contact card and the whole screen refreshes, that means the other person has deleted you. Because I really was blocked and deleted by many people, I’ve become intimately familiar with WeChat’s functions, even grasping the subtle nuances of blocking and deleting.

What does it feel like to be blocked and deleted by many people? It’s like going through a partner’s infidelity, being betrayed and then breaking up. It’s like a couple quarreling fiercely, hating each other, then shutting themselves in a room and crying alone, trusting no one. So I was a bit driven crazy by life. Sometimes I feel everyone is great, that I should love people, treat everyone like family, and I can sit on the subway floor without a care. Sometimes I feel very free and easy—what friends? After ten years, let’s see who’s still a friend, whether the partner beside me is still there, whether after all these years with my parents we’ve found peace, with so many unexpected turns in life—just laugh it off.

Later I came to understand: over these years of entrepreneurship, I did serve some users, make some friends, and help some people, but only a portion of them needed to thank me; with most, we are equal friends. People like fair exchanges and don’t like being taken advantage of. So when I asked for money, it was easily understood as plainly wanting to take advantage, get something for nothing. Or, there are plenty of people worse off than me—I’m not worthy of sympathy at all. Or, in entrepreneurship, it’s easy to subsidize or give red packets to please users, but hard to get that back. I noticed that most friends who had been on my WeChat for over three years stayed, supported me, offered encouragement or understanding. Recently I heard a saying: converting a WeChat friend into a paying user takes more than three years. Huh, so it’s not just me who feels that way.

So I realized that life is not easy. Even though I write many articles, share many things, and have made some achievements, only half of people can understand me, only half can tolerate me, only half can stay faithful. In this money-driven world, this desire-driven world, this every-man-for-himself world, feelings have indeed become increasingly cheap. I’m also doing it for myself—everyone is the same.

When I raised 20,000 yuan and then a month or two later got married and needed to buy a diamond ring, I kept joking and teasing while shopping with my sister-in-law and wife. When they were picking, they thought they were beautiful and wanted a slightly more expensive one. I told the salesperson, “They’re still young; they don’t yet know how hard life is.” Everyone knows how Zhiwei earns his money—selling courses through live streaming platforms, doing software outsourcing projects, introducing projects, and recently begging online. You could say it’s all hard-earned money from facing the market directly as an entrepreneur. I said that any money I spend must be viewed over a ten-year horizon to decide whether to spend it today. Apart from the larger wedding expenses, I’ve only spent two to three thousand a month this year, a few tens of thousands total: rent for the Beijing apartment I hadn’t canceled early in the year, car insurance, clothes, social obligations, travel, meals, Pinduoduo, etc. Besides the begging and wedding gifts, I still earned about sixty to seventy thousand this year, albeit in a scattered and casual way.

That night, for the gold and diamond rings, my wife thought of me and tried to save money by picking cheaper ones, but it still cost 20,000 yuan. Just like that, Zhiwei, who had struggled and cried and made a scene on his Moments to raise that money, spent it all, defeated by real life. He’s lazy, driven by life to want to be aloof from the world, too lazy to argue with individual clients over requirements, and can’t bear to keep making money off friends. He does things by emotion, but without emotion, user-friend stickiness seems weak—he’s become obsessed with entrepreneurship.

He finally realized he can’t rely on emotion to do things, that he’s just a very small person. To be honest, not many people love him; he’s nothing special. It’s not that because he’s excellent, everyone will respect him. Rather, it’s because he respects everyone that everyone will respect him. It’s because he treats everyone well that everyone will treat him well. It has little to do with his excellence. He can earn money because the services he provides meet people’s needs, not because of how much he loves everyone. Love is useless; people don’t believe in love. People need tangible things or services that can make themselves better.

I drove my sister-in-law and wife back. They are both good to me. Giving my wife a proper modern wedding is only right. To my wife, who works a normal job, that 20,000 yuan is just a small amount. To the past me, when outsourcing projects were booming, it was also a small amount, just the reward for one project. So people often can’t understand each other. Everyone’s attitude toward money changes—sometimes very sensitive and cautious, sometimes very generous and casual.

As I drove, I felt deep sadness. I didn’t want my soon-to-be wife to see, so I put on a brave face. I realized life isn’t easy, and everyone’s money is hard-earned. Have I repaid those who treated me well? It’s normal and understandable if people don’t treat me well or appreciate me. But over all these years, have I clearly seen who has truly been good to me, and have I repaid them? Have I seen how good everyone has been to me, and have I repaid them with my heart? My investor, my clients, everyone who gave me money, everyone who helped me—have I repaid them? If I give nothing back, will they keep helping me?

As soon as I got home, I sent a message to my investor, Teacher Xiaolai. Because of the wedding—I had just been shopping with my fiancée, buying a diamond ring and gold, spending 20,000 yuan—I became even more aware of life’s hardships. The 20,000 I earned from begging not long ago was quickly spent, and the goodwill accumulated over many years was quickly reaped by consumerist society. I thought carefully and decided to be a good person, act with integrity, and be worthy of everyone, especially my benefactors. I now have 81,000 yuan in my bank account, and I decided to transfer 70,000 to you, Teacher. Previously, I helped you with a project and spent tens of thousands. Let’s round the total to 400,000 yuan. I still owe you 150,000. Today I want to transfer 70,000. After my housing fund comes through in a while, I’ll transfer more. Teacher, I’m fine on my end. I now have a clearer idea of how to earn money—either do more outsourcing or join a big company, etc. Don’t worry. Teacher, you must accept it. Money is a small matter; this way I feel more at ease. Brothers settle accounts clearly. Teacher, please give me this chance to be a decent person.

Teacher Xiaolai said these things are for me to decide—500,000. At the time, he said I only needed to repay 150,000, but I said 250,000. He said okay. He told me, “No rush, take your time, don’t take it too seriously.” Now that I plan to pay it back, I’ve matured, and he accepted. Yes, thank you, Teacher. Money is all small matters. This helped Zhiwei grow up, helped him become an adult, helped him learn gratitude.

Then over the weekend, I read Teacher Xiaolai’s new book, WeChat Internet Civilian Entrepreneurship. It mentions a concept: the long-term value of fair transactions. Only fair transactions can last long-term. In business, every deal should be fair and reasonable—don’t take advantage of anyone. The same applies to interpersonal relationships.

I plan to work hard to earn money and started a side-business training camp. A friend signed up and transferred me 5,000 yuan. I was very moved. He’s a friend I’ve had on WeChat for over three years, met through Quzhibo before. He said it was purely to support my dream, that it’s rare to trust someone online, and it was also a psychological comfort for him. So that night I made a video saying that if it weren’t for certain responsibilities, I’d take the brothers far away. I accepted it, but when I tried to transfer it back, he wouldn’t accept. So I’ll treat it as a temporary charity from a friend.

Just like when I faced many freelance engineers I could cooperate with—maybe we’d just met, and I chose to trust them. For some clients who were generous, I treated the freelancers the same way, making sure everyone earned money. I didn’t scour all engineers for the best cost-performance ratio just to maximize profit. I also deeply realized that every client who came to me did so based on trust. There was a period when I had many projects, so I let clients and freelancers form groups, briefly communicated, and acted like a hands-off boss, not maximizing consideration for clients’ time and effort. I’ve learned a lot. I know how to do things that last.

I’ll treat it as a friend’s charity for now, and I said that if they ever need it, I’ll give it back anytime. At this point, with this friendship and trust, money seems less important. Zhiwei, over these years of entrepreneurship, telling stories that moved people, learned to move everyone, and became brothers with many friends on WeChat. Fun, right?

Then, adding the housing fund withdrawal and various other money, I scraped together another 80,000 and transferred it to the investor, totaling 400,000. Plus the project help and work done, valued at 100,000. So Teacher Xiaolai’s 500,000 investment is almost settled. Invested in April 2017, ended in October 2020. Over those three-plus years, lost and earned back, returned half when disbanding, all sorts of struggles, and finally paid it all off.

Money in my hands—I don’t spend much. At the end of the year, my balance is still over 100,000, so I could pay back another 150,000. Even if I don’t spend it, family expenses will. But a year ago, I was lamenting that I seemed to have made no money from entrepreneurship, yet today I resolutely paid it back. Something inside my brain and heart has indeed changed.

We all—everyone—our most important task is to live our own lives well first, and not trouble friends. I’ll live well first, owing no favors. Exchange courtesies with everyone. Be grateful to friends who have helped you. If you’ve lost money or owe money, find every way to work hard and pay it back. Although what I did was quite controversial and came at a great cost, Zhiwei, in this life, aside from friends’ charity, truly hasn’t wronged anyone. He hasn’t wronged anyone, and has even done some good. The world is a little better because of him.

I realized that deep down, I always felt I owed my investor. As a friend said, I’m a bit too eager for quick success. The friend told me, “Just work hard, earn money, and pay back the investor.” That’s very true. So I think, if I try other entrepreneurial ventures, I must adjust my mindset. Don’t owe the investor, don’t owe anyone. Produce some work, do something, improve my ability to create value, and strive for fair transactions.

Everyone is struggling, right? Luo Yonghao owed 600 million and paid back 400 million in two years. Dai Wei, after Ofo’s huge losses, used his company’s public account to sell honey and run ads to find ways to make money. Li Zhiwei, he lost 500,000 in his startup, did outsourcing, acted as a middleman, and begged online.

When I was begging, actually I wasn’t thinking about paying back the investor. I just wanted to casually collect some red packets, felt like no friends were reading my Moments, and impulsively sent mass messages to all WeChat contacts. After what followed, I made up my mind. Originally I planned to repay slowly—there’s still time, and the investor isn’t short of money.

This is also because I have confidence. I realize that over these years of entrepreneurship, writing many articles, telling many stories, doing various things, I’ve gained something—I’ve kept many sincere friends. I’ve also learned many methods and experiences. Although my public account averages only about 1,000 reads, more influential figures in the internet space average only 20,000–30,000. Time has taught us many things: who stays by our side in the end, who is willing to buy my courses or my merchandise.

Of course, I can’t rely on emotion to do business. I need to make a worthwhile product. I need to make a good course and sell it for 9 yuan or 59 yuan, just enough to meet friends’ needs, or find target users, to keep going. For projects introduced by friends, I need to do them well or find a reliable team to help, so I can sustain it.

Doing business by emotion—only emotionally close friends will support you. Relying on a quality product itself is acceptable to the general public.

Time has taught us many things. Our young, ignorant recklessness, all the stupid things we did, all the stupid words we said, the troubles we caused, making some users, friends, clients unhappy—all taught us a lot.

Zhiwei, you write a public account, you like to make your life public, but not everyone wants that. You can do whatever you want with yourself, but when you mention others, be mindful of the impact you have on them. The investor and friends mentioned above—I’ve asked for their understanding, thank you. Generally, I only talk about people when praising them. When mentioning negative things, I only cite them. I don’t argue online. My mention of arguing with an outsourcing client was just about that moment; we later understood each other.

I have to say, many friends are more experienced and worldly-wise than me. They say the past is past, don’t keep bringing it up. I bring it up because I’m practicing writing and want to share stories—please forgive me. I understand all kinds of thoughts because I’ve done these things, and friends have accompanied me and offered many suggestions. I also observe how friends and clients do things.

I’ve given everyone a full live broadcast of an entrepreneurial journey. This also serves as a reference and suggestion for entrepreneur friends. Raising money is easy; accounting to investors is hard. When we can’t raise funds and are desperate to make money to survive, our mindset becomes impatient, and the more impatient we are, the less we earn. When we start asking friends for help, and friends all know our situation, the world will tell you, harshly, what reality is. If you have good character, optimistically, about half of the friends who know who you are will help you. Because you’re the same—when friends ask for help, you’ll first think whether they’ve helped you before and how you should help. We’re all like that. There’s no love without reason, no harm without reason.

More importantly, under the current environment, everyone is struggling, everyone is busy making money, and just getting by is hard enough. Mortgages and rents don’t stop; family, children’s education, and medical care all cost money.

So how should we do entrepreneurship? I think I’ve found an answer: low-cost trial and error, and concerted partnership. First, start alone. See if you can support yourself as a solo entrepreneur. Then, if you want partners, it’s best if no one takes a salary; share profits, split by project, according to agreed returns. If we can’t find partners willing to share hardships, it means we’re not capable enough for partnership, so it’s better to go solo. Then two people work together; if more, three, etc. If you take investment and need employees, it’s best to find people willing to take low salary plus stock. If we can’t find them, it means we’re not ready to expand.

This is the way of true organic growth. This is the way of steady progress without overreach. Entrepreneurship is so hard, and making the whole team break even is so hard, that we must be willing to sacrifice, even selflessly, for a long time. In Alibaba’s early days, Jack Ma and his 18 partners took risks and started together. Their later success is closely related to that early form. Alibaba, now worth $700 billion, was founded by Jack Ma and 18 partners—those two facts are not coincidental. Wang Xing and his partners worked together for years, then founded Meituan and achieved great success—also no coincidence.

How much hardship a person can endure, how many difficulties they can overcome, whether they persist or give up in extreme difficulty, how they act when in debt and losing money—that shows a person’s true character.

This is not self-praise. I admit I’m also unreliable. I can’t endure extreme hardship. I’m also quite lazy. So much so that I realize how hard it is to earn money steadily through entrepreneurship, and I’m gradually inclined to give up. Many times, when projects come my way, I don’t do them myself but pass them to friend teams. Some say, “I suggest you don’t earn money that’s too hard.” That seems reasonable. I need to let go of past experiences, recover, and start by earning small amounts—don’t rush for quick success, strive for fair transactions.

Yesterday an article had a big impact: “An Apology Letter from an Entrepreneur in the Education Industry for Nearly 20 Years,” now approaching 90,000 reads. What happened in that article also confirms my thoughts: everyone has a hard time; the world is indeed this realistic.

Let’s face everything optimistically. After Zhiwei withdrew his housing fund to pay back the investor, his mindset has indeed improved a lot. This life, right? It’s quite interesting. This entrepreneurship, right? It’s quite interesting. Let the world, right? Be quite interesting too. Friends, thank you all for accompanying me all along. In the days ahead, let’s all keep pushing forward.

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